axleheart:

thecandycoatedcondesce:

poehlerbond:

what if you were stuck with whoever/whatever your icon was for the rest of your life

FUCK

image

thebestofallpossible:

interstellarmage:

i knew this guy in middle school who when asked about his future plans, even by school counselors or teachers would without fail always chant,

KICK ASS, GO TO SPACE
REPRESENT THE HUMAN RACE

i wonder what he’s up to these days.

guarding our galaxy

zohbugg:

if I ever fall into a coma someone please come secretly tweeze my eyebrows so I can make all the nurses hella jealous of my unconscious eyebrow game. 

http://wardrobespierre.tumblr.com/post/95896621621/badlitmakestheworldgoround-so-its-hotter-than

badlitmakestheworldgoround:

so it’s hotter than satan’s butthole and i’m sitting on the rooftop with cheap sangria and my regrets, blasting veggie tales songs because at some point my life went very wrong, and all of a sudden i’m thinking; hey, remember the tons of badlit you downloaded and…

unclefather:

my ex got mad on facebook when he found out i was seeing someone else and he wrote “i hope he likes your loose pussy” so i commented back and wrote “my vagina is a muscle that will go back to the same size after sex. your penis will never get any bigger.” and now he is messaging me saying “delete that comment now”

I had a dream I met Beyoncé last night

posted 2 days ago
, fml  

the-goddamazon:

Dudes who actually react when you giving him the suck up.

Bless y’all. I love guy-moans. I love when he start cussin under his breath and shit. He start looking for shit to hold onto, grabbing my hair, can’t figure out how his life got to this point and shit.

That kind of dude is fun to suck and fuck.